I was looking at party pictures and I came across this picture from the night I met my semi stalkerish creeper. If you see that loser creeping around PYT, avoid him at all costs and do not give him your number. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, read up on it here, here & here.

Permanent no-chip gel colored nails in OPI’s Bastille My Heart. Lasts for 2 weeks, $35. SO WORTH IT.

Chatroulette is pretty weird. You can talk to random people all over the world via webcam. It’s 80% dudes jerking off/dumb signs that say tits for haiti, 10% college kids, 5% fetuses, 2.5% normal people, 2% old people & .5% /b/ 4chan nerds.

Since we were snowed in all weekend, we decided to stack up on 4loko and go on there. Here are some of our better encounters:

Asian babies and we were wearing party hats at the same time and they all of the sudden whipped out a hello kitty pillow so I brought mine out. This was super weird.

Then some weirdo posted this and we loved it.

This guy fucking ruled. He was from Connecticut & was blasting house music and we all danced together.

Everyone thought it was our birthday ‘cos we wore birthday party hats.

More dancing.

He appreshed that we did not next him because of his creeper/rapist stache and we told him to check out Ninjasonik

I got this polish at Rite Aid for $2. They’re called Sinful Colors, worst name ever but they have awesome colors and they’re really cheap. I bought a bunch last week. This color’s called Daddy’s Girl hahaha.

I must have these immediately. Calling my Nike contacts to get these on my feet asap!

They even match my nails and phone, com’on!

The nail color is purple chrome from Sally Hansen’s Color Quick Chrome Pens.
Don’t buy them, they kinda suck and are expensive for no reason.

I haven’t updated any of the blogs I write on in a minute and since it’s 2010 and I got a brand new laptop, I decided to update more often.

A lot of dumb shit happens to me daily so I decided to start sharing some of those stories on my blog. This is my favorite one from last year.

Last month my roommate, best friend and I decided to go to Tiger Beats at the Barbary after being snowed in all weekend. My roommate and I got pretty wasted… and this was on a Monday night. Some douche was crowd surfing and knocking people over left and right.

Apparently, I get ignorant after having too much to drink. At one point I pointed at a midget standing maybe a foot away from me and yelled, “LOOK it’s a midget!” to my best friend standing right next to me. Yeah, it was that kind of night.

By the end of the night, I was throwing snowballs at people and had a mini snowball fight outside. I was having a good time besides the crowd surfing douche kept pushing me into the snow but I got him back and everything was fine. Finally, it was time to get a cab home.

A cab pulled up right in front so we got in and were on our way back to South Philly. I started hiccuping shortly after entering the cab. Grace was drunk and recapping her night to me and Geo. We stopped at a red light and the cabbie turns around and tells me that he has a problem with me hiccuping right now. I was slightly annoyed, thought maybe he was kidding so I asked him if he was serious, he said yes.

Now if you know me, you know I’m an angry person in general and when I get mad, I get crazy eyes. This is a look that takes over my face before I start yelling at or punch someone. And you definitely know not to fuck with me after 5 jack and cokes.

Back to the cabbie. His answer immediately pisses me the fuck off so I asked him what his job was. Before he answered, I said, “Do you work in the service industry? If I’m not mistaken, your job is to provide me with a service, right? I don’t recall anyone asking your fucking opinion about me hiccuping or anything else so do your fucking job and drive us the fuck home.”

He had nothing to say except that this was how he honestly felt and that my hiccuping annoyed him. He obviously should have just kept his mouth shut but since he didn’t, I decided he was asking for it and I started attacking him.

Again I tell him that no one gave a shit about what he thought and told him to shut the fuck up. I explained to him like I would to a retard that hiccuping is natural, I’m obviously not doing it on purpose to annoy him. Then I asked if he had a problem with people drinking because I simply cannot believe someone really has a problem with people who hiccup. He said no so then I asked what his fucking problem was and that if he did have a problem with drunk people, he shouldn’t be driving cabs.

I told him to pull over, I didn’t want to ride his cab anymore and that I wasn’t going to pay him. He gets very offended now and threatens to take us to the police. I find this hilarious so I tell him go ahead, fucking drive us to the cops. As I’m calling him an asshole, douchebag and almost every insult in the book, drunk Grace became the peace maker and was like no, there’s no reason to do that just pull over and we’ll pay you. I begrudgingly handed him the money and demanded exact change.

Before exiting the cab Grace was still trying to smooth things over because she had to pee and wanted to get home as soon as possible. He said something that offended her and they start yelling at each other. I get back in and start insulting him some more. I heard her telling him to shut the fuck up and he goes no you shut the fuck up and they’re now just exchanging fuck yous. I had enough and the last thing I said to this guy was, “I hope you kill yourself or die in a fucking fire.” Yeah, I was obviously obliterated at this point because I thought this was a great insult at the time. I threw a few snowballs at his cab and Grace didn’t shut his door. He’s yelling at us to shut the door so I threw a snowball inside and kicked the door shut and threw more snowballs and kicked his cab some more as he drove off.

Another cab driving the opposite direction picks us up. Before I get in, I asked if he had a problem with me hiccuping and he said no so I entered. I knew he was curious to what just happened to us and I fill him in and he goes that’s weird because hiccuping is a sign of long life in my culture. I go WTF then, he was just a hater and he goes eh maybe he just didn’t like you. So we talk some more and I found out he lives down the street from my parents and he was on his way home when he saw us and decided to pull over. Dude loved us and we exchanged a few stories. This dude was awesome and our fare only came out to like $5 and I gave him a $20 and said hey that’s what happens when you’re not a fucking asshole.

Moral of the story, don’t argue with me whether I’m drunk or not ‘cos I’ll still make you feel stupid and ruin your night or maybe your life, depending on the situation.

sallyspark.com is 1 year old today
Thanks for reading, good stuff to come this year I promise.
There’s a few secret projects being released shortly