for jdawg ‘cos I know how much you love macro mondays <3

WHAT?

Katie & I braving the snow to go to the Pope.
We were getting hit with the worst pick up lines I’ve ever heard in my life.
Worst one of the night: 97% of women masterbate in the shower, 3% sing. guess what they sing? you donno know? then you must be the 97%.
Told him NAH SON, I rap in the shower. hahahhahaha.
Matt said I was the sassiest customer of the night.

…who is now a “phone sex actress”???

I came home from work today and Grace said she had to show me something really funny. She showed me this video:

She said she recognized her and realized we went to college with her. She had worked with her and said she couldn’t stand this girl. After watching the video, I still couldn’t figure out who she was so Grace took me to her facebook and I recognized her right away. Not only did I go to college with her, I went to the same high school as her too.

This bitch was the type of girl who didn’t have many friends in high school, the emoish-goth, slit your wrist the wrong way, loner type. I barely knew she existed till senior year when I had a class with her. She was all mallgoth and super unattractive, to put it nicely. This chick rocked a long purple velvet skirt and lacy shirts almost everyday.

One day I walked past her computer and she was animating fairies, NO JOKE! I noticed she had a Spirited Away dvd next to her so I decided to be nice and talk to her for the first time ever. I pointed to the dvd and said I really liked the movie. Her and her friend just stared at me like I was fucking retarded. I was offended. REALLY? Who the fuck are you to snub anyone? You look like your dressed yourself in the dark and everyone treats you like the fat smelly kid in elementary school who has food stains on their shirt. I thought no one liked them ‘cos they were mad nerdy and weird. NO, it’s ‘cos they’re dumb TWATS. The type of thundercunt who thinks they’re better than everyone else and is ~unique and original~ when in reality they look & act like every other loser hanging out at Hot Topic. IE: think “goths” from south park, soooooooo non-conformist!

Thanks to the internet and facebook, I have some visuals to share with you:

“miss deepthroat”

her dumb friend.

high school.

college.

post college. I didn’t know people threw/went to toga parties in 2010.

Dear art school kids, don’t feel bad about working as a waitress/waiter or whatever odd job you currently have that has nothing to do with your degree, at least you’re not a phone sex actress. At least you have some dignity, right? I would much rather wait tables to upper middle class yuppies over talking dirty/having phone sex with creepy old dudes any day. I would put her job right under stripping in my degrading jobs list. Your mom must be so proud of you C BFA in animation and you work as a phone sex actress under the name, “MISS DEEPTHROAT”? COM’ON SON!

PS. karma really is a bitch, isn’t it girls? ACT LIKE YOU’RE NOT EMBARRASSED!

I was looking at party pictures and I came across this picture from the night I met my semi stalkerish creeper. If you see that loser creeping around PYT, avoid him at all costs and do not give him your number. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, read up on it here, here & here.

Permanent no-chip gel colored nails in OPI’s Bastille My Heart. Lasts for 2 weeks, $35. SO WORTH IT.

Chatroulette is pretty weird. You can talk to random people all over the world via webcam. It’s 80% dudes jerking off/dumb signs that say tits for haiti, 10% college kids, 5% fetuses, 2.5% normal people, 2% old people & .5% /b/ 4chan nerds.

Since we were snowed in all weekend, we decided to stack up on 4loko and go on there. Here are some of our better encounters:

Asian babies and we were wearing party hats at the same time and they all of the sudden whipped out a hello kitty pillow so I brought mine out. This was super weird.

Then some weirdo posted this and we loved it.

This guy fucking ruled. He was from Connecticut & was blasting house music and we all danced together.

Everyone thought it was our birthday ‘cos we wore birthday party hats.

More dancing.

He appreshed that we did not next him because of his creeper/rapist stache and we told him to check out Ninjasonik

I got this polish at Rite Aid for $2. They’re called Sinful Colors, worst name ever but they have awesome colors and they’re really cheap. I bought a bunch last week. This color’s called Daddy’s Girl hahaha.